Just some thoughts.

Another thing I've recently realized, is that I'm currently in a sort of state of rebellion against... obligations.  And deadlines.  In general.

I think it's a product of the fact that I spent the majority of my life focused on accomplishment as my main form of self-esteem.  I wasn't anything unless I was achieving.

I am currently undergoing a change of mindset in that category, and learning how to slow down, and focus instead on if I am deriving joy and happiness from whatever it is that I'm doing with my time everyday.

Things I've spent more time doing:

actually cooking healthy, satisfying, (vegetarian) meals

catching up with old friends

getting to know my newer friends better

being able to help random people who need it

actually getting enough sleep (for the first time since elementary school, probably)

Things I'm still hoping to devote more time to:

volunteering at heritage, walden school for the arts

learning how to sew, knit, and crochet

making my own homemade cleaning products, soaps, shampoos,

READING. EVERYTHING. (but especially old classics or children's books I never had a chance to read)

Discovering new, delicious, vegetarian recipes

Yoga

Photography

Specific topics I want to read up more on:

intentional communities

vegetarianism, veganism, and locavorism

freeganism

unschooling

sustainable architecture

cultural anthropology

everything eco-friendly and green

photography

eco-friendly parenting (i know... i'm not a parent yet, but who says it's too soon to learn about parenting?)

creativity and letting out our inner artist

feminism

female body image

food, and eating

activism and lots of other social issues

etc....

GAH.  That is not even all of them.  And there are so many more subjects I'm interested in, that I'm considering studying when I go back to school (did I mention I want to go back to school?), like Spanish. And French. And women's studies, and maybe even global politics. and international affairs.

If you hadn't noticed before, I'm currently going through a period of... liberalization.

Now. There is one problem.

I have to earn money to survive.

I've been substitute teaching, but I can't say that I particularly derive a lot of happiness from it.  I know, I know... I can't always have a job that I absolutely love, ...but can't I have one that I at least don't hate?  And that doesn't make me SO. EXHAUSTED. every day I have to do it?

(Okay, I'll admit that my rebellion against obligations isn't helping in this area very much.)


(But c'mon... I've gotta draw the line somewhere.  Preferably somewhere before the point when i run out of food because I haven't been working and can't afford anymore.)

uh. yeah.

:)