Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Stuff and Nonsense

I'm loving this song lately.

Stuff and Nonsense by Missy Higgins

It's really simple, but even more beautiful because of that.

However, I do have mixed feelings about the lyrics:

Disobey my own decisions
I deserve all your suspicions
First it's yes and then it's no
I dilly dally down to duo
But I've got no secrets that I babble in my sleep
I won't make promises to you that I can't keep

And you know that I love you
Here and now not forever
I can give you the present
I don't know about the future
That's all stuff and nonsense

I once lived for the future
Every day was one day closer
Greener on the other side
Yes I believed before I met you
But I soon learned your love burned brighter than the stars in my eyes
Now I know how and when, I know where and why

And you know that I love you
Here and now not forever
I can give you the present
I don't know about the future
That's all stuff and nonsense

Being LDS, I know lots of people who might argue FOR looking to the future, and falling in love for eternity, etc.  So some people might not find that very romantic.

Regardless, I think it's still pretty sweet. I feel like it really reinforces living in the moment, which is very easily forgotten nowadays. 

It's like she's saying, I don't know about anything that's going to happen from here on out, but I do know that here and now, I love you.

That, is just beautiful.

Monday, February 22, 2010

I just wanna sing!

Also... the video below:

Makes me feel pretty good about myself.  I forgot I could (can) sing like that.

I recorded that spring of 2008.

Maybe I'll start taking more video of myself singing.

Now I just need an instrument.

Post-edit: So, I currently feel a little awkward about the fact that I posted this video.  Because let's face it, the video is a little awkward.  But... I don't care!  The point is, I have a pretty dang good voice. Am I right? Seriously.   Now.  To make sure I stop hiding that talent under a bushel... ahem.

sooo... I'm still here! :)

It has been such a very long time since I posted.

It feels strange.

I just haven't felt that much into writing about my life.

I would say that it's pretty boring.

Mmmm... you might argue with me on that point.

Anyway, remember how I said (wrote) that my life had changed drastically at one point?

And that I would post about it later?

Well, it has still changed several more times since then.  And is about to change again.

Let me just tell you about it.

At the beginning of November, my nannying gig unexpectedly came to an end.  I could've stayed in their house (I was living with them at the time as part of my pay), but chose to vacate and get moving so that I could figure out what my next step would be.

I moved all my stuff into a friend's house and stayed on their couch for a couple weeks while I hunted for jobs, interviewed, and worked on getting a handle on and organizing my money situation.

In a fairly short amount of time, I landed a job substitute teaching in Provo School District, and soon after, I found out about an open room in a friend's house, which I quickly snatched up.  I moved into that house, and began substitute teaching. Intermittently. Sometimes it's hard to find sub jobs. Actually, a lot of the time.

Also, I forgot to mention that about a week before Thanksgiving, I started dating someone. A new someone. 

Anyway, money was still pretty tight at that point, and the room I had moved into wasn't exactly cheap.  Or even average-priced, for that matter.  So I decided that it would be wise to move again and find something a little cheaper.   

I had a couple of ideas of places to which I could move, but nothing was cemented.  Nevertheless, I have great friends, and knew I could stay with them for a bit should I get stuck without a place, so I decided to take the plunge, and I just sold my contract, moved my stuff out and back into a friend's house, and then flew home for Christmas break the next day.

Over break, I got in contact with some acquaintances who were moving all together into a new house.  Combined with the four of us, the rent would be really cheap, so I agreed to move in with them.  As soon as I got back from break, I began moving my stuff into the new house.  Didn't take me long, and I picked up lots more sub jobs, so things started calming down (it seemed).  I was still dating said boy.

A couple weeks ago, I got a text from my fabulous friend Brooke, which said that they would soon have an open room in their house.  "This is great news" I said.  

And I decided to consider it. 

Do you ever start writing a blog post, and then get tired of writing it part of the way through? I do. Right now actually.

That day I crunched some numbers, got some more detailed info on the room, etc. and after much deliberation, I decided to take it.  

Honestly, I feel a little ridiculous for moving so much, but I really think it will do wonders for me, and help me feel more secure in dealing with everything! But especially the specific challenges I'm dealing with right now.  And if I've learned anything, it's that I need to do what's best for me, regardless of what everyone else is going to think, and ultimately, I'll be happier.  This I know.  

So... in about a week, I'm moving yet again.  I still haven't found anyone to take my contract where I'm at now, but I've posted an ad on craigslist, and have had a couple of people look into it.  I have high hopes.  Know anyone who's looking for somewhere really cheap to live?  Somewhere with awesome roommates and a huge pantry and kitchen and washer and dryer?  

Also, I broke up with aforementioned boy on Saturday. Suck.

Also, I decided a little while ago that I'm not earning enough money subbing.  It pays reasonably well, but it's not consistent enough.  I want something more consistent.  I think that would really help with feeling stressed and anxious. 
So right now, I am job-searching yet again.  

However, I have mixed feelings about it.  I really hate job searching. I hate interviewing, I hate repeatedly filling out my information and employment history on job applications even though I'm attaching a resume (with all the ame information on it!!!) anyway.  I hate trying to sell myself and make myself look good. I JUST AM WHO I FREAKIN' AM.  Grr.  I hate checking craigslist all the time and trying to deciper what people's stupid listings mean, and i hate emailing more and more people with the EXACT SAME questions I asked the last person, and the five people before that, etc. etc.  (I'm starting to feel like that part from "Ten Things I Hate About You"). What a ridiculous exercise in buttering up future employers, and using big words that you don't really mean job-searching is.  It just disgusts me.

There are so many other cooler (and more worthwhile (i know i know... just don't argue with me right now. i'm ranting.)) things I could be doing with my time.  Like developing hobbies, or reading and educating myself, or spending time with the people in my life that I love, or helping someone, or, or, or... you get the picture. 

Anyway, that's where I'm at right now.  Hopefully everything will go smoothly this week. Hopefully I'll find someone to take my contract, and maybe I'll get a new job.  

Yeah, like I said, my life is kind of boring.  Some days I don't like being a grown up.

PS. I have a goal of taking more pictures, which will hopefully translate to more pictures on this here blog.  Which would be just fabulous.  Or maybe I'll post old pictures that I haven't posted yet to supplement.   

Going to Find a Christmas Tree

Well, I was going to write a post about going to get our Christmas Tree (I'm a little late I know).  However I later realized that my mom had already written a post about the exact same thing.  So if you want to read about how the whole night went down, go there.  However, I do have some quotes that I still want to add to the story.

1. While we were at the farm looking at the trees, Coy picked up a tree and turned it around.  Katie must not have been satisfied with the distribution of the branches on that particular tree, because all of a sudden she goes, "Oh! He's a baldy!"

2. Emily has serious issues with being away from home.  She'll go if it's an activity to which we're all going, but even then she can generally be pretty grumpy about being out and about.   This particular night, as soon as we found a tree we seemed semi-okay with, she piped up immediately: "Okay! let's get out of here!"  If one tries to argue with her with a statement along the lines of this: "Emily we just got here!", she'll say something to the effect of "I know, I'm just wondering... let's get out of here."

3. This one was also Emily, and I'm not exactly positive to what it applied.  She had mentioned earlier in the evening how she liked to watch something that mom liked.  She then later must have said something to the opposite of that, and mom called her on it.  Then Emily says, hoping not to hurt anyone's feelings, "Yeah, i like to watch them, but..."
Then Coy's sarcasm kicked in: "Basically she doesn't like them but she doesn't want to hurt your feelings."
Then Emily, thinking that that statement was a possible escape from the situation without making anyone feel bad, jumped right on the bandwagon. "Yeah! I don't want to hurt your feelings."

4. Later, once we had chosen a tree, Coy was trying to load it into the bed of his truck.  Katie must not have approved of the way Coy was handling the tree.  "Be gentle!" she cried.
Coy yelled back, incredulously, "it's a TREE!"

5. On our drive home, Coy noticed that someone's door wasn't shut all the way.  We discovered that it was Katie's door, and so she quickly opened it and shut it, but to no avail.
 "Katie, it's still not shut!"
Upon further examination, she quickly realized that the very tip top of the tree was poking around the cab of the truck just a tiny bit, and that Katie had managed to slam the tip of the tree into her door when she shut it.
"Aw, shoot.. the tree!"
 After realizing this, she opened and re-slammed her door several more times.  Only squishing the top of the tree more. 
"Katie!!" we all yelled.  "It's not working!"

6. Finally, after the slamming-the-tree-in-the-car-door incident, we were discussing one of Katie's upcoming dates for which she was not very excited.  These were her thoughts on the event: "I hate guys who can't spell.  And he can't even spell!"