Saturday, December 25, 2010

Over the past month or so, I've discovered a new love.

Traditional, gospel, blues and country songs. 

For example, I just heard this one this morning, and loved it.

Actually, this really all got started with the songs I heard in Oh Brother, Where Art Thou.

Like this one:

this one:

and this one:

I love it when I discover new things that I really enjoy.  It's like I am a mystery, and I unfold new little pieces of myself all the time.

Friday, December 24, 2010


I am home for Christmas.

It was stressful getting here, but now that I'm here, it's actually quite lovely.  This morning I slept in until a little after 9am, then I went on a run in the fantastic fifty degree weather (compared to Utah snow and freezing temps, I am happy as a clam :)).  It was a little drizzly and overcast, but the air smells fresh and chilly and perfect.

When I got back, the house was still quiet (everyone was either gone or still sleeping), and so I took a long shower, and then put on some music and raided the kitchen for breakfast.  My mom has developed a habit of buying healthier, organic food of late, and I can't help but LOVE it.  I scrambled two large brown eggs, with organic milk, salt and pepper, and then threw in some cheese, and fresh salsa from the local Tacoma Boys (an indoor farmer's market, selling local, fresh food). I ate that with two slices of whole wheat toast with butter, and an orange, while catching up on some blog reading and looking out the window onto this scene.

Now I'm wrapping up the gifts I purchased, to put under the tree.

Mmmm.  It really is nice to have a break, and to be home in beautiful Washington.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Of Things That Matter Most.

This is my favorite talk from our most recent General Conference.  Well, one of my favorites at least.  Watch it below, or read it here.

Either way, you've really got to listen to at least a little chunk of this video.  He has the most endearing little German accent.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

something delicious.

Guys. This is the best granola recipe in the history of eternity.  Thank heavens for my lovely roommate Brooke who found the recipe and has made this delectable goodness for us on multiple occasions. She was kind enough to direct me to the recipe.  And warn me that you can't just set the timer and leave. You have to keep an eye on it, and it will likely be done much sooner than expected.

I made myself a double batch of it today, and now my kitchen smells amazing. And I can't even begin to tell you how extremely content my belly is.

photo from recipe page itself:

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Confession #8

I wore plain old white socks with my black work shoes and slacks every. day. this week.

I know, that is COMPLETELY and UTTERLY against ALL rules ever written... but I don't have any black socks. And my feet get cold without socks, dang it. 

Heaven help me.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


...i'm listening to this:

 (nobody read too much into the lyrics of that... I just like the song.  Thanks Coy, for recommending it.)

...and reading back on my blog posts. I particularly like this one though.  It's so interesting to read back and see the goals that I set, and the progress (in a way, it was sort of accidental progress) that I've made.

I'm doing pretty well, I think. 

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

"Every morning she rose with the sun--a ritual punctually followed by peach-blossom tea and grapefruit. For refreshment she walked through the woods. There was life to be lived." 

ps. it is seriously gorgeous out tonight. 

welcome, autumn.

Monday, September 20, 2010

down and dirty.

A couple friends and I ran the dirty dash this weekend. 

Sarah and I ended up running it barefoot.  We thought there would be so much mud we'd lose our shoes anyway (false).  Everyone thought we were crazy.  Apparently, "everyone [was] talking about" us (or so said a lady we ran into waiting to go down the slip and slide towards the end of the race).  It was pretty cool.

I put lots of pictures on facebook. I'll pick my favorites and put them here. Later.

For now, enjoy these videos of our awesome adventure (Jana was our trusty captain and planned delicious food and other surprises for us, and took almost all of our pictures.  She did not run.)

getting ready to run.


captain's log.

just after we finished.

our last video, taken on the trip home.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, August 31, 2010


On Saturday, I spent most of my morning, and a little of my afternoon, in my underwear.

It was really, really great.

I woke up early-ish, went for a long run with my neighbor (not in my underwear... although i can imagine running in one's underwear is probably very pleasant), then made myself an amazing smoothie with watermelon and berries which totally hit the spot.  My roommate introduced me to the song "Clementine" by Sarah Jaffe and I hooked my computer up to the speakers and turned up the volume while I finished off my smoothie and did a little organizing and cleaning in preparation for my move (I'm still in the same house, different room. I'll post about it later). 

Whether or not spending the morning in my underwear and having a fabulous morning are related, remains to be seen.

although, I'm PRETTY sure they are.  

ps. you should definitely try it sometime.  

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Man in the Arena.

 Warning: this post is a little emotionally heavy. 

Note: I started writing this post like, at least two weeks ago. Probably three weeks ago, actually. So the mentions of “today”, and "yesterday" refer to that day and the day before it, three weeks ago.  Um, yes. That’s how long it took me to get my thoughts together on this. :)

I had three realizations today.  (what those three realizations actually were, are not the important part. but i will tell you. maybe. at the end of the post)

It was during a text conversation with a good friend this afternoon, that I actually put words to these three thoughts.  She asked me how I was doing, and before I knew it all sorts of insight and inspiration began spilling from my mind to the screen of my cell phone... and that’s when I knew it was time to blog.   

Here's the story.

Let me first explain, that a rather serious dating relationship I’ve had for the past eight months of my life, ended.  A month ago now, actually.  It felt pretty sudden and shocking at the time.  To say that it has been difficult, is possibly the understatement of the year.  I still don’t really do much analysis of it because it’s all too complicated and heavy and who really knows what happened anyway?   But, for the purposes of this blog post, you DO need to know a little bit of how it felt.  

In short, it felt (okay, sometimes still feels) as though I had fallen into the deepest, darkest, blackest crevice in the sidewalk, and wasn’t sure if, how, or when I’d be able to find some way to pull myself up and out.

Here's something else you'll need to know.  I deal with higher levels of anxiety than most people. I have seen a psychologist or been on medication on and off for the past several years.  Unfortunately, I think it might be one of those things that has to get worse before it can get better (which means that getting through all of this without being on medication means I'm learning how to deal... right?).  But anyway, the point is that when something like this happens, something that throws off all my stability, it often triggers the anxiety, and I start to feel afraid of or worried about things that don't normally bother me at all.  Which is really not fun. To say the least.    

Here is a longer description: 

Everyday felt like a rollercoaster (I don't care how cliche that phrase is).  Everyday I woke up with terror in my heart at the thought of what might happen that day.  What needs I might have that would not be met.  What people I would feel like I needed in my life that wouldn’t (couldn't) be there.  I felt afraid to stay in bed, afraid to get up, afraid to go to work, afraid to stay home.  Even afraid to make lunch.  But afraid not to (um, hello hypoglycemia.).  Most of all, afraid to expose myself to anything else that might cause even the slightest bit more pain or discomfort than I was already feeling.  Because honestly... I was afraid I couldn't handle it.
And that is how I carried (or rather trudged, in a very heavy, about to drop to the floor and give up sort of way) on.  

Until yesterday, that is. 

Yesterday, something inside me snapped.  Or gave up. Or maybe just altogether decided it wasn’t going to do this anymore.  I guess I decided that I wasn’t going to do this anymore. I couldn’t.  

And so, I decided that I was brave.  That I could handle more than I thought I could. That I dealt with a lot of things that were way above my maturity level when I was younger, and if I could handle really really hard things then, why not now?  I was never really one to back down from a challenge. 

And finally, I decided that even if I wasn’t feeling brave, or calm, or confident, that I was going to pretend like I WAS feeling that way, dang it.  

So, with those thoughts in mind, I marched myself directly into a situation that could’ve been potentially very painful for me.  And in many ways, it still was. Acting that way doesn’t necessarily lessen the pain of it, but the point is, I survived.  I put on a happy face, acted way overly confident, and continued to laugh and joke and hang out like the world was my oyster.   

(nevermind that the whole time I was really really concerned that there would be a huge emotional crash later.  nobody knew what i was thinking!  nobody knew i was worried!)

Anyway, here's the important part.  There is something about acting braver than you feel.  Something reckless.  Something wild.  And I won’t lie, it is frightening.  But you know what? It is also empowering.

And somehow, that made me realize how key mistakes are in this life of ours.

Let's back up a little.  This is what I said. To my friend (remember how I mentioned her at the beginning of this post?).

"... I guess I learned last night, though, that sometimes it doesn’t hurt to act braver than you feel.  It’s kinda liberating. It feels very appropriate for this age and stage in my life... you know? Like it’s proof that I’m really living and loving and getting hurt and having experiences and falling and getting up over and over again."

And that's it. Just like that.   

To be honest, it kind of surprised me.  Wait, what? Did I just write that? 

It just made so much sense!  And sounded so right!  SO RIGHT! 

And that's when I realized (decided?) that it’s okay to make all kinds of crazy mistakes.  To feel a little (or a lot) out of control and not really know what’s going on.  To accidentally reach a point where you don’t know if you can handle your situation emotionally. To suddenly realize how broken and bruised and unsure of everything in your life you are.  

And YET.  To STILL let yourself believe that you are brave.  That you can handle really hard things... even if maybe you don’t feel like, or truly, honestly, deep-down, believe that you can.  

I am only twenty-three. This is a time of exploration and experience.  It is a time that is meant for mistakes and learning and growing and more mistakes.  A time for questioning yourself and your values, and everything that you have believed so stalwartly your entire life.  A time for figuring out who you are and who you want to be and how in the hell you're going to get there.  And most of all, a time for taking chances.  A time for testing the limits.  And thus, a time for picking your bruised and bleeding, yet resilient body, up off the dusty, dirty earth time and time again.  

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”      ~Theodore Roosevelt


Maybe that is why i sometimes love that windblown look.  The messy hair dirty face look.  The look that says “I’ve been out tripping and falling and getting muddy and scraped and all kinds of beat-up, but I'm learning a ton."  There is wisdom in those eyes. 

Three realizations?  Right here:

1. I can do things that are really really ridiculously hard for me.  I am totally capable.
2. Sometimes it's really liberating to act braver than you feel.
3. I shouldn't be afraid of making mistakes. Mistakes are proof that I am living and loving and growing. And eventually becoming exactly who I want to be.

Monday, August 9, 2010

08.08.2010, 11:35pm.

Remember when I was happy?

And how sometimes my writing can be pretty funny?

And when I used to get pretty fiery about some things?

How sometimes I have super deep thoughts, that even I don't really get very well when I read back on them?

And how I can sing (well, except for the part where I mess up at the end. ha.)?

Yeah. I'm trying to remember too.

(don't worry. a post is forthcoming about what's been up.)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


This song has been on repeat all day.  

{yellow, by coldplay}

I would embed it here, but the good video can't be embedded. So just click the link, and go watch it. 

Sunday, August 1, 2010

All About Your Heart

This is so peaceful.

And I love this little girl's dance.

Monday, May 24, 2010


This morning, I woke up a little before ten.  I got out of bed, and headed towards my bedroom door, only to step in a puddle of water right in front of the door.  Surprised, I turned on the light (it's a little dark today, because it SNOWED last night, and is still raining today (what the freak. it's almost JUNE.)) and looked around.  I found that half of my floor was covered in about a quarter inch of water.  Yuck.

Something similar (albeit way smaller) happened maybe a month ago.  I called the landlord, and they sent someone out to check it out.  They told me that there is a leak in the wall because of something to do with a leaking gutter on the outside? My room is halfway underground (I live in the basement) so apparently the ground has come away from the foundation a little bit, and there is a crack, so it's leaking right through my wall and all over my floor.

Some people from the real estate company who takes care of our house came by, took pictures, told me what was up, and then told me to mop the water up and put a towel in front of where the water is coming out.  Awesome.  Don't worry, I didn't have anything else I was going to do this morning.  I was just hoping that you'd come by and tell me to clean all of this up.  Even though you knew it was happening a month ago, and could've done something before now.  I'll just pick up that there slack for you.  No problem. I love mopping.  

Fun stuff.  If my camera was working, I'd take some pictures of it for you.

In other news, even Wills thought the pocket pigs were a little cute.  Though he was a little conflicted because he had mixed feelings about domesticating animals.

I think I'm going to try to go to DI today (I really, really need some new clothes).  And I have plenty of other things on my to-do list that I'll work on, including going to get measured for my bridesmaid dress for Marta's wedding!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

oh so cute. oh man.

I inherited my love for animals from my grandma.  And my mom.

Thus, I really want one of these:

That love for animals is also the reason I love this (cuteboyswithcats) website.

And this, perchance, is my favorite one of all (letsbefriends).  I'll leave you with this picture. You know, to tempt you:

Go my friends.  Rejoice in the animal love.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Friday, May 14, 2010


I'm feeling pretty good this week.  I actually started up a fairly normal schedule at work!  I will be working (with a few exceptions, I'm sure) on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, from 6am to noon at the bakery, and then from 6-8pm teaching English on those same days.  It should be really nice in some ways, because I'll have a four-day-weekend most weekends (!).  The main downside will be having to go to bed pretty early (like 10pm or earlier if I can) on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights, but also that my off-time from work is in the middle of the day.  So instead of getting all my working hours out of the way all together in the morning or in the evening, I have to get up at like 5:30am, work for six hours, and then when I get off I have some time, but my English class in the evenings is weighing on me because I have to plan my lesson.  So... there are pros and cons to any way I do it.  I'm thinking I might try to get all my lessons planned over the weekend and do any other prep that I need to do so I don't have to worry about pulling something together a few hours before class.

In other news, Wills got back from Israel on Tuesday (his flight got cancelled, and he ended up spending the night in the airport in Tel Aviv), and he brought all of us awesome souvenirs!  He got each of his roommates at the Dollhouse a Keffiyeh (they're going to have a dollhouse picture with all of them wearing them - Sweet!), and he got me a gorgeous red bag which was made by some Druze people.  It is red, and looks kind of like these, in messenger bag form.  So cool!  I wore it out for the first time this morning.  It is very well made, and the weaving is gorgeous. 

Also, my roommate Brooke introduced me to this book the other day and I can't wait to read it!  It's called Radical Homemakers.  Here is a review of the book I found on the above linked website:

“Imagine women with masters degrees and PhDs who choose home over career advancement. Imagine wives (and husbands) who reject the false promise of endless paid labor to tend gardens and children and friendships. In a time when Wall Street MBAs-producing nothing of value but rewarded with million-dollar bonuses and blinded by greed-have driven our country to bankruptcy and despair, Shannon Hayes’ stories of women and men who choose simplicity, authenticity and community inspire hope. Outside the boxes of both conservatives and liberals, this book is radical thinking at its best. Read it and think.”-John de Graaf, coauthor of Affluenza and director of Take Back Your Time

I'm in the middle of several books right now, but once I finish a few, I want to start on this one.  I love the idea of being really educated, but also focusing so much on family and community because building solid families and communities is what is going to make cities and states and countries stronger.  

Hopefully the weekend will be great.  I will love not having to worry about work.  Later today Wills and I are going to hike the Y, then go see Avatar in the dollar theater.  There are good times to be had.

Saturday, May 8, 2010


I am exhausted.

I've worked 6 or 7 hour shifts at the bakery four days in a row (which means waking up at 5:30am all of those days, to get there by six).  I also taught ESL in the evenings a couple of those days, which includes planning lessons.  AND, Cary and I are trying to get everything for the ward family home evening on Monday night planned and ready.  We went up to Costco yesterday to get food for it, and we still need some more, so I'm going to have to make another grocery store trip sometime today.

And I'm annoyed at how many people eat SO MANY FREAKING DONUTS Saturday mornings.  And people totally overdose on sweets on holiday weekend (Mother's Day!).

Anyway, I got home, took a quick rinse-off in the shower, and put on some sweats. I think I'll spend a few hours reading, or taking a nap.  Or doing both.

Tonight is Jana's birthday movie marathon!  Yay for pizza and crowding tons of people in the living room to watch movies on the big projector screen.  And for lounging in the LoveSac.

Tomorrow is church, and prepping food for FHE. 

Maybe my roommates and I will make some delicious food together.  It's so nice when all three of us are home.

ps. hopefully I'll get some new batteries (or a new charger) for my camera soon!

Thursday, May 6, 2010


Yesterday was super busy!

I had to wake up early to get to work at the bakery at 6am.  I got off at one, came home, showered (after a shift at the bakery, I smell just like I used to after a shift at Pick Quick. Ew.), and ate some lunch, which was leftover soup that I made a couple of nights ago (which is really good, by the way.  I posted the link to the recipe and the changes I made to it at the bottom of this post). 

After that I met with the other co-chair for FHE (did I mention that I was called as one of the FHE co-chairs? :)).  We are both brand new to the calling, but after talking with him, I'm way excited for the way things are going to do.  We're hoping to try some new things and hopefully get some more people coming out every week (as it is, less than half of each group generally comes to activities).  The most urgent thing we're dealing with right now is planning the ward FHE for this coming Monday evening.  We're thinking barbecue.  A delicious barbecue of course... none of this buy-some-cheap-nasty-hot-dogs-and-squished-white-hamburger-buns grossness.  Hopefully we'll play some kickball or whiffle ball too.  My roommate Jana upstairs is going to take care of the music.  It's still in the works of course, but it should be really fun!

Right after that, I had to leave again.  I had agreed to be in a film that my roommate's brother Scott is working on for one of his film classes.  He asked me on Monday if I'd mind being in a short (like two minutes, short) film he was working on.  They needed someone to play the "sweet, young mother", and Scott said he immediately thought of me.  I managed to find a baby that I could borrow to add to the effect (baby on the hip, over-sized white shirt, old cut-off shorts, ghetto house... you get the picture). We picked up baby Hyrum who is one year old, and headed up to Scott's house where we were going to be shooting. Hyrum was completely content to be chilling on my hip, barefoot, for almost an entire hour.  He played with my hair, ate some cheerios, looked at the things on the wall inside Scott's house while we were waiting for the salesman to knock on the door, etc.  He did awesome.  We ended up shooting it a good five-plus times.  When the filmmakers were content with the footage they'd gotten, we loaded Hyrum back into the car and headed home. 

After we dropped Hyrum at his house, Scott dropped me off just in time to change clothes, copy down my lesson plan, grab some water and snacks and run out the door to go teach ESL. 

The class was pretty uneventful.  That is, except for the part where I found a note on the side of one of my students desks.  He had written it (in English! Yay!) to explain that he'd bought me some bananas, but forgotten them in his car, so he would bring them in at break time.  And that he did. They were all wrapped up in a plastic bag, so that no one could tell what they were, I imagine (he was trying to be pretty stealth about it).  Also, there was the part where the oldest man in my class was flirting with me (to make matters worse, he doesn't have a wife, currently.  He's definitely like sixty.  I'm sorry, but ewww. no.)

I finally got home around 8:30pm.  I chatted with Brooke and Ashley for a minute, had a little snack, and then started getting ready for bed (I had to be at work at 6am at the bakery again today, so I wanted to get to bed early-ish. Which really ended up being about 10:20.  Oh well.). 

Luckily, today has been a lot more chill and I've gotten a few things done around the house. 

Life is pretty good.


P.S. I found this picture in a magazine a couple years ago, and saved it. I just came across it again a couple of days ago.  Can this be my family someday?  Barefoot, babies, straw hat, husband with carrots.  I'm taking note.

Click on the links to check out the rest of the slideshow (the one that included the above picture) about an organic farm, and the story that goes with it.  The photography is beautiful, and everyone should know about eating locally and sustainably.


The recipe for the soup I mentioned at the top of the post can be found here.  Chili's Southwestern Vegetable Soup.  So good! 

I didn't have any corn tortillas, so I didn't add those, and added a little corn starch to it to thicken it up instead.  I also am not a huge fan of spicy foods, so I didn't add the chilies.  I couldn't find our chili powder either, so I just added crushed red pepper flakes instead.  BUT.  It turned out pretty spicy.  Spicier than I would have liked.  So my tip to you is, if you don't add chilies and can't find your chili powder and end up having to use red pepper flakes instead, don't add as much as you would if you had chili powder.  Just a heads up. 

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I found this video on one of CJane's blogs.

I love it.  How she views motherhood, the scenes of her beautiful children playing, and being happy.  It's just beautiful.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

keeping up

Sorry I've been a little down and out lately.  I promise to get going with my posting again soon. 

One of my excuses (lame, I know) is that I don't have any batteries for my camera currently.  I have a bunch of rechargeable ones, and a charger, but either the charger isn't working, or the batteries are done for.  I guess I need to test them out a little bit to figure out which is which.  In the meantime, I guess I feel like posts are a little boring with no pictures to illustrate what I'm talking about.  Though I might just bore you anyway... :). 

In the meantime, check out this post, written by my roommate Brooke, on her blog.  I'm a fan. 

It includes snippets of what I've been involved in/doing lately (including the chickens, and the spring garden, and the ostrich egg quiche, strawberry napoleons, and chocolate noodles part. yum.)

A little update:

Remember all that stuff I posted about that I was going to sell?  Luckily, all of that sold, including my computer!  Thanks to that, and help from awesome family and friends, I'm doing a little better in the financial arena lately.  Still nowhere near where I'd like to be, but I'm getting there. 

I also got a couple of new jobs.  In addition to substitute teaching for Provo, I got a job teaching adult ESL classes in the evenings three days a week, and I got a job at the Provo Bakery (where another one of my roommates works).  Once the paychecks for those start rolling in, I should be feeling pretty comfortable!  Right now I'm just trying to adjust to everything being different and a little crazy sometimes.

In other news, Wills left for Jerusalem today!  He'll be gone until May 10th. 

Monday, March 8, 2010

found it!

Remember the post I wrote awhile back about living life more slowly and enjoying the moments?

In that post I also mentioned how I really really wanted to share a clip that I'd found from the movie Tuck Everlasting, which shared the idea so much more vividly than the quote, but I just could not find it??? 

Well I found it.  The first part is the main part to which I refer, although the rest isn't bad either.

also... i'm getting really irritated.

I found the below conversation as a status update of one of my friends on facebook.

A. "Any tips on retraining a baby to sleep? Since he got sick he absolutely refuses to sleep anywhere but our bed (yes, I know that's a big no no). Refuses! And I do let him cry- he goes on for an hour and 1/2 and then I just can't take it anymore:("

M. "Oh I am sorry friend! It is the worst when they go through being sick. It always throws off Josie too. Have you tried sitting in the room with him while he falls asleep? Or singing to him just outside of his room?"

A. "Lol, I was going to call you about this actually:) I've been trying to do the thing you told me about where you sit with them at first, then slowly move out over a few days, but I made it through one day and gave up. I'm going to buy the book though, I think. I am going to start trying again tomorrow, so I'll give you a call. I think that would really help him. I saw an article in a magazine about it, and it reminded me that you did something similar."

B. "During the daytime, don't pick him up. Let him self soothe during the day when he can see you and is alert and can be distracted with toys. We've noticed Sam does better when she receives little attention during the day (other than feedings) and isn't held so much. Also, sensory overload will help. Always try to give him something new to analyze and figure out. New toys, new foods, get him a walker to cruise around the kitchen with, etc. Once you can get to the point where you can be in a different room for an hour or so while plays, several times a day, you should be good for night time."

L.  "does he take a pacifier? That was our best friend"


I mean, I know I'm no parenting expert, but it sounds like it's just going to teach the little guy to feel helpless, and that no matter what he does, his parents aren't going to respond.  

Not only that, but it teaches the parents to be really detached!  Tell the parents to ignore their babies cries, don't give them any attention... that does not sound natural, or healthy.  Grrr.  Seriously people? 

Also, I know that self-soothing is a good skill for kids to learn. But seriously, this whole feed was just driving me crazy.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I must be a hippie.

Ladies and gentleman,

I have been pondering on my financial situation, and have decided that it would be wise to rid myself of a few material things, in an attempt to achieve more financial peace of mind (if not more peace of mind in general, as well).  I have posted a few items on craigslist, and plan to do so on KSL as well.  I thought about using amazon, but they take some commission off your sale, and that's just annoying.  And.  Ebay does the whole stupid auction thing.  Although I read about in this article, and it appears as though it is completely free as well.  I was also thinking about  Anyone have experience with any of these other sites? Good? Bad?

Here are some links to my craigslist ads for now.  Just in case you're interested in purchasing anything that I've posted.

All 7 Seasons of Gilmore Girls (gaH!! I know! I can't believe I'm selling them either! bAH. sadness)

Panasonic 5 CD Changer Stereo, Silver

What's left of my Gold's Gym Membership (6 months!)

And here's the kicker: I've also decided I'm going to sell my laptop, and get something cheaper temporarily.  At least until I can actually afford something nicer.  More info on that to come.

*also, i just realized i capitalized ladies, but not gentleman at the top of this post.  does that make me more feminist? :)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Yet another confession. Actually, two.

Um.  I have another confession.

Actually a couple.

I am slightly ashamed, but I am overcoming those feelings by writing this post.

Number One.  I like milk chocolate just as well, or more, than I like dark chocolate. 

There. I said it.

I eat dark chocolate because it's slightly better for me, sometimes it's pretty good, and I often feel as though I may be shunned from my group of friends if I don't (not really. but sort of.). 

However, I am a total sucker for the sweet milky taste of milk chocolate.  

Number Two.  I don't like raw tomatoes. 

I can eat them when they're on a sandwich or are mashed up into sauce or on pizza, but plain tomatoes, even tomato chunks in a salad? No way. Yuck. 

Sorry all my favorite garden friends.  I just don't have the inherent tomato appreciation that seems to come so naturally to all of you.  And as for choosing the perfect tomato to plant in our garden... I'm really sorry, but I have absolutely no opinion.  They all taste the same to me when cooked.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Shared Female Contract, $190 a month

So... as I mentioned previously, I'm selling my contract at the house I was in, for reasons you can read about in that other post.

But, since today is March, and I really really really don't want to have to pay March's rent too (not to mention I don't have the money to do it!)  I figured I'd repost my craigslist ad, and add a few pictures.  Only four can be added on craigslist, but on my fabulous blog, I can add as many as I want!  So I'm linking here.

I apologize for the lighting not being great!

Part of the bathroom (shower, sink and vanity)

Other half of the bathroom

Hallway to the bedroom door from the bathroom.  There's also a large storage closet thing to the left of the bedroom door which isn't pictured.  My roommates put some stuff in it, but there's still quite a bit of room.

The stairway up to the bedroom (you can see the part of the bathroom with the shower and vanity at the top of the stairs)

Living room and fireplace

Another view of the living room, including the other windows

the kitchen

This pantry has been one of my favorite parts of the house!  There is still more room for food, and we haven't even started using those cabinets on the left!

The laundry room, with clotheslines hanging

the dining room area with piano and front door (on the left)

View of the house from the street side. The big window on the top floor is from our bedroom.

The back of the house.  There are two other smaller apartments connected to the house (one downstairs in the basement and the other is part of the top floor)

Some of the parking.  I have never had a problem finding a place to park.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Stuff and Nonsense

I'm loving this song lately.

Stuff and Nonsense by Missy Higgins

It's really simple, but even more beautiful because of that.

However, I do have mixed feelings about the lyrics:

Disobey my own decisions
I deserve all your suspicions
First it's yes and then it's no
I dilly dally down to duo
But I've got no secrets that I babble in my sleep
I won't make promises to you that I can't keep

And you know that I love you
Here and now not forever
I can give you the present
I don't know about the future
That's all stuff and nonsense

I once lived for the future
Every day was one day closer
Greener on the other side
Yes I believed before I met you
But I soon learned your love burned brighter than the stars in my eyes
Now I know how and when, I know where and why

And you know that I love you
Here and now not forever
I can give you the present
I don't know about the future
That's all stuff and nonsense

Being LDS, I know lots of people who might argue FOR looking to the future, and falling in love for eternity, etc.  So some people might not find that very romantic.

Regardless, I think it's still pretty sweet. I feel like it really reinforces living in the moment, which is very easily forgotten nowadays. 

It's like she's saying, I don't know about anything that's going to happen from here on out, but I do know that here and now, I love you.

That, is just beautiful.

Monday, February 22, 2010

I just wanna sing!

Also... the video below:

Makes me feel pretty good about myself.  I forgot I could (can) sing like that.

I recorded that spring of 2008.

Maybe I'll start taking more video of myself singing.

Now I just need an instrument.

Post-edit: So, I currently feel a little awkward about the fact that I posted this video.  Because let's face it, the video is a little awkward.  But... I don't care!  The point is, I have a pretty dang good voice. Am I right? Seriously.   Now.  To make sure I stop hiding that talent under a bushel... ahem.

sooo... I'm still here! :)

It has been such a very long time since I posted.

It feels strange.

I just haven't felt that much into writing about my life.

I would say that it's pretty boring.

Mmmm... you might argue with me on that point.

Anyway, remember how I said (wrote) that my life had changed drastically at one point?

And that I would post about it later?

Well, it has still changed several more times since then.  And is about to change again.

Let me just tell you about it.

At the beginning of November, my nannying gig unexpectedly came to an end.  I could've stayed in their house (I was living with them at the time as part of my pay), but chose to vacate and get moving so that I could figure out what my next step would be.

I moved all my stuff into a friend's house and stayed on their couch for a couple weeks while I hunted for jobs, interviewed, and worked on getting a handle on and organizing my money situation.

In a fairly short amount of time, I landed a job substitute teaching in Provo School District, and soon after, I found out about an open room in a friend's house, which I quickly snatched up.  I moved into that house, and began substitute teaching. Intermittently. Sometimes it's hard to find sub jobs. Actually, a lot of the time.

Also, I forgot to mention that about a week before Thanksgiving, I started dating someone. A new someone. 

Anyway, money was still pretty tight at that point, and the room I had moved into wasn't exactly cheap.  Or even average-priced, for that matter.  So I decided that it would be wise to move again and find something a little cheaper.   

I had a couple of ideas of places to which I could move, but nothing was cemented.  Nevertheless, I have great friends, and knew I could stay with them for a bit should I get stuck without a place, so I decided to take the plunge, and I just sold my contract, moved my stuff out and back into a friend's house, and then flew home for Christmas break the next day.

Over break, I got in contact with some acquaintances who were moving all together into a new house.  Combined with the four of us, the rent would be really cheap, so I agreed to move in with them.  As soon as I got back from break, I began moving my stuff into the new house.  Didn't take me long, and I picked up lots more sub jobs, so things started calming down (it seemed).  I was still dating said boy.

A couple weeks ago, I got a text from my fabulous friend Brooke, which said that they would soon have an open room in their house.  "This is great news" I said.  

And I decided to consider it. 

Do you ever start writing a blog post, and then get tired of writing it part of the way through? I do. Right now actually.

That day I crunched some numbers, got some more detailed info on the room, etc. and after much deliberation, I decided to take it.  

Honestly, I feel a little ridiculous for moving so much, but I really think it will do wonders for me, and help me feel more secure in dealing with everything! But especially the specific challenges I'm dealing with right now.  And if I've learned anything, it's that I need to do what's best for me, regardless of what everyone else is going to think, and ultimately, I'll be happier.  This I know.  

So... in about a week, I'm moving yet again.  I still haven't found anyone to take my contract where I'm at now, but I've posted an ad on craigslist, and have had a couple of people look into it.  I have high hopes.  Know anyone who's looking for somewhere really cheap to live?  Somewhere with awesome roommates and a huge pantry and kitchen and washer and dryer?  

Also, I broke up with aforementioned boy on Saturday. Suck.

Also, I decided a little while ago that I'm not earning enough money subbing.  It pays reasonably well, but it's not consistent enough.  I want something more consistent.  I think that would really help with feeling stressed and anxious. 
So right now, I am job-searching yet again.  

However, I have mixed feelings about it.  I really hate job searching. I hate interviewing, I hate repeatedly filling out my information and employment history on job applications even though I'm attaching a resume (with all the ame information on it!!!) anyway.  I hate trying to sell myself and make myself look good. I JUST AM WHO I FREAKIN' AM.  Grr.  I hate checking craigslist all the time and trying to deciper what people's stupid listings mean, and i hate emailing more and more people with the EXACT SAME questions I asked the last person, and the five people before that, etc. etc.  (I'm starting to feel like that part from "Ten Things I Hate About You"). What a ridiculous exercise in buttering up future employers, and using big words that you don't really mean job-searching is.  It just disgusts me.

There are so many other cooler (and more worthwhile (i know i know... just don't argue with me right now. i'm ranting.)) things I could be doing with my time.  Like developing hobbies, or reading and educating myself, or spending time with the people in my life that I love, or helping someone, or, or, or... you get the picture. 

Anyway, that's where I'm at right now.  Hopefully everything will go smoothly this week. Hopefully I'll find someone to take my contract, and maybe I'll get a new job.  

Yeah, like I said, my life is kind of boring.  Some days I don't like being a grown up.

PS. I have a goal of taking more pictures, which will hopefully translate to more pictures on this here blog.  Which would be just fabulous.  Or maybe I'll post old pictures that I haven't posted yet to supplement.   

Going to Find a Christmas Tree

Well, I was going to write a post about going to get our Christmas Tree (I'm a little late I know).  However I later realized that my mom had already written a post about the exact same thing.  So if you want to read about how the whole night went down, go there.  However, I do have some quotes that I still want to add to the story.

1. While we were at the farm looking at the trees, Coy picked up a tree and turned it around.  Katie must not have been satisfied with the distribution of the branches on that particular tree, because all of a sudden she goes, "Oh! He's a baldy!"

2. Emily has serious issues with being away from home.  She'll go if it's an activity to which we're all going, but even then she can generally be pretty grumpy about being out and about.   This particular night, as soon as we found a tree we seemed semi-okay with, she piped up immediately: "Okay! let's get out of here!"  If one tries to argue with her with a statement along the lines of this: "Emily we just got here!", she'll say something to the effect of "I know, I'm just wondering... let's get out of here."

3. This one was also Emily, and I'm not exactly positive to what it applied.  She had mentioned earlier in the evening how she liked to watch something that mom liked.  She then later must have said something to the opposite of that, and mom called her on it.  Then Emily says, hoping not to hurt anyone's feelings, "Yeah, i like to watch them, but..."
Then Coy's sarcasm kicked in: "Basically she doesn't like them but she doesn't want to hurt your feelings."
Then Emily, thinking that that statement was a possible escape from the situation without making anyone feel bad, jumped right on the bandwagon. "Yeah! I don't want to hurt your feelings."

4. Later, once we had chosen a tree, Coy was trying to load it into the bed of his truck.  Katie must not have approved of the way Coy was handling the tree.  "Be gentle!" she cried.
Coy yelled back, incredulously, "it's a TREE!"

5. On our drive home, Coy noticed that someone's door wasn't shut all the way.  We discovered that it was Katie's door, and so she quickly opened it and shut it, but to no avail.
 "Katie, it's still not shut!"
Upon further examination, she quickly realized that the very tip top of the tree was poking around the cab of the truck just a tiny bit, and that Katie had managed to slam the tip of the tree into her door when she shut it.
"Aw, shoot.. the tree!"
 After realizing this, she opened and re-slammed her door several more times.  Only squishing the top of the tree more. 
"Katie!!" we all yelled.  "It's not working!"

6. Finally, after the slamming-the-tree-in-the-car-door incident, we were discussing one of Katie's upcoming dates for which she was not very excited.  These were her thoughts on the event: "I hate guys who can't spell.  And he can't even spell!"

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

the first snow

This morning, I got a text at 8:03am. (This post was originally composed early in december, 2009.)

It said, simply:

"SNOW!! :)"

I jolted up and rushed to the window.  When I pulled the curtains aside, I saw this:

And even though it looks dreary (you can't tell, but it was actually snowing when this picture was taken), the text, combined with the first official snow of the season reminded me of more carefree times.

And I remembered this:

It's easy to forget, in the midst of hard times, the simple joy that can come from the little things.  Like the first snow.  And your freshman year of college.

But today, I remembered.