Confession #2

I'm hypoglycemic.

That's not really the confession.

The confession is the part about how it sometimes almost leads me into panic attacks. Kind of.

I don't really know exactly where the problem originates, but below is a description of what happens.

I'm usually in the midst of some project, and I start feeling kind of hungry.  I don't want to walk away just yet from my project, and I can't think of anything that's ready in the fridge that sounds particularly good, so I hold off and continue with whatever it is that I'm working on for a little while longer.

"Just until I get to a good stopping point" I tell myself. 

The hunger increases, and I continue to ignore it, because I don't really have any ready solutions (yes, i know i'm lazy thank you). 

Then I'll have to go to the bathroom, or I get up to get a drink, and when I stand up that semi-black out thing happens (you know, like when you stand up too fast?) and then I remember that I AM hypoglycemic and I need to eat something soon or I'll start feeling really crappy, and "why don't you take better care of yourself already dang it?".  So I finally go to the kitchen to try to figure something out.

The problem is, though, that usually once I get to that point, the thought and appearance of most foods makes me want to gag.  And that's when I start getting kind of panicky.

I rush around the kitchen looking in the fridge and each cupboard multiple times, hoping that something that looks and sounds delicious, will magically appear somewhere (nothing ever does).

After that fails, I realize that I'm going to have to think a little harder and make something up.  Like, I'll have to cook something.  But then the nausea strikes again at the thought of most kinds of food, and there's also the fact that my brain really isn't functioning at it's highest level due to lack of sugar and the panic that's beginning to set in.

And then my thought process usually goes like this: ...blahg! everything sounds gross and nothing that could be made would be any good but that doesn't matter anyway because i don't have time to spend making anything because i'm starting to feel clammy and my circulation isn't very good and i kind of feel like I'm going to pass out soon if I don't sit down but I can't sit down because I have to get some food in me and... and... and... sldkjgonwenflskjdo, aaahhaahha!!!



Like five minutes ago, for example.



note: I usually end up figuring something out (I'm not passing out on a daily basis, at least).  It's just the getting to the figuring it out moment that sucks.  

But still...


It's kind of embarrassing.