Drum roll please...

After being very busy for about a week (or maybe more... sorry blog readers!), I finally have the time, and the mental capacity to sit down and explain this whole crazy turn of events.

I shall start, from the beginning.

A few months ago, I began pondering the idea of serving a mission. I had thought about it before, but never really seriously (oh, I'll be married by then, right?), and when a fairly promising relationship fell through in January my thoughts turned more intently to the idea of a mission.

*note: there is a misconception about girls serving missions only because they are not married. this, however is not the motivating reason behind why I decided to serve. a little while back while thinking about this whole philosophy, it occured to me that, while some girls may serve because they aren't married, maybe other girls (or the same girls) didn't need to get married because they needed to serve a mission? Just a thought :)

I went through all sorts of internal arguments with myself and my logic, and some not-so-internal arguments with my mother (which were really arguments with myself and what I really needed to do but wasn't ready to do at the time), and decided that since I had already committed to teach this coming school year, and I was extremely excited to work with some of the new 4th grade teachers that will be coming in in the fall (those kids going into 4th grade are some lucky ducks!), I would teach this year, and then leave on an only slightly (kind of) belated mission after school let out next summer. This felt good to me, and reasonable, and comfortable, so I stuck with it and finally and formally made the decision to stay for the year.

However... you know the drill... you make the decision, and then things start to feel funky and nothing is really working out, and then it all finally comes together into one moment when you realize "OH. I have other options here.". That moment for me happened to be while I was writing in my journal one Sunday evening that I happened to be having an identity crisis (...funky) because I like all sorts of extremely contrasting lifestyles and wasn't seeing how they could possibly all fit together... not to mention I didn't want to have to give up any particular side of my personality.
Evidence-excerpt from my journal, June 22, 2008: "I guess I feel like I can't be all those things at once and I have to choose... I think I could probably have one main, and then the others as side hobbies" (that is where you begin to see how ridiculous my train of thought is and that I'm obviously trying to deny something) "And suddenly the more I think about it the more I realize that teaching another year isn't going to get me where I want to go right now."

Now after this, I crawled into my bed expecting, or at least hoping to fall asleep. But HELLO... I had numbers swirling around in my head for how I would save the money and HOLY CRAP what would they say if I quit my job after already signing the contract and, and, and, and. Sooooooooo... I got up again, whipped out my trusty macbook (that the school district gave me to use while I work for them... mind you) and thought about how the money would work out and turns out i could rid myself of 99% of my expenses by moving home and selling my car, and I still get paid through the summer so I would still have an income from the school year... and things just started to click. I sent my mom an email with the logistics to get some feedback, and everything looked good to her and she was beyond excited at the idea of me actually moving home (I haven't lived at home for any significant period of time in 2 years).

And here is evidence of the verdict, in my journal, dated June 23, 2008 (note that this is the day after the aforementioned journal entry): "I'M GOING ON A MISSION. woah." ...and that was the entire entry.

So folks, I'm doing it. I told my principal and the district the very next day and they were all very pleasant and encouraging (thank goodness I work in Utah) and following four days of H-E-double hockey sticks including first packing up my entire classroom and all my materials at school and driving them 45 minutes back to Provo (I work in South Jordan), then packing up and cleaning my entire apartment and moving over to Caitlin's, then going through all my school stuff and getting rid of and donating whatever I could and packing what I was keeping in boxes and dragging (literally) those boxes up the stairs and to my car with every ounce of strength I had left (me and Cait trying to get those 100 lb boxes up the stairs and into her car was quite the scene) and then paying way way WAY too much to ship those boxes home, and then not being able to sleep and waking up at 6am the next day to drive 14 hours with a heavily loaded car from Provo back to my home near Seattle and during ALL of this sweating like a PIG because it's flippin' 100 degrees EVERYDAY in Utah in the summer and probably being dehydrated and definitely being sleep deprived the entire time and there are definitely several things I had to do that are left out because it was all so blurred together.... (cue huge breath of air because holy cow that was the longest run-on sentence I've ever written) I finally arrived in my little, green, 75 degree neighborhood in Washington and joined in the 4th of July festivities (yes I drove home on the 4th of July, and no, please don't feel bad for me).

So that's it. I've officially moved back to Washington, in the same house as my other four siblings and mom, and am sharing a room with my crazy but hilarious fourteen-year-old sister Nellie-Kate (aka Katie) and am selling my car and plan to study, rest up, read, rejuvenate, rebond with my family, hit several lakes and beaches in the area (including my favorite surfing/camping trip with Marta), and most importantly remember who I am and what I'm like when I don't have a job that eats up just about every second of my time including any extra energy that might be left.

I'll keep you posted on my normal life happenings (I already have some great stories to share but considering this is the post that ate the world, I'll spare you), and will most definitely be letting you know as soon as that big white envelope ends up in my mailbox!

ps. I had a dream last night that I got my mission call to Cambodia.
pps. I somehow ended up here without the box which contains my Gilmore Girls season 1 (I KNOW... TRAGIC), all my other movies, and other things that I'm sure I'm missing right now I just don't know it yet. If any of you have any information on this mysterious disappearance, you will be greatly appreciated (and possibly rewarded :)) if you disclose this.

loves.